chapter in Selves, Symbols, and Sexualities: An Interactionist Anthology

2014. I was asked to contribute a chapter to this collection mixing personal essays with more academic writing about sexuality. I was invited to write something personal about BDSM.

As “interactionism” focuses on how individuals interact with their setting, or with society, it was a wonderful opportunity to get meta. My contribution is called, “On confessing one's kink in a sexuality textbook.” In it, I explore my hesitation and fear about discussing kinks in public, and the stigma messages I have gotten that inform that fear.

It was extremely satisfying to dive into the fear and misgivings about being honest about kinks, because anxiety about disclosure has always been a big part of my kink art. And in the HBO Real Sex appearance, that anxiety wasn’t very visible, which ultimately made that experience feel like a forced smile. I was grateful for this opportunity to sink into my favorite medium — “neurotica” — because that is a huge part of my authentic response to a distressing stigma landscape.

The book is available here: